A Series of Drabbles and Oneshots
by Thorn1134
Summary: Eh, I'm bored. A bunch of stories I wrote in my spare time.
1. Attack of the Fangirls

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar. Sadly, I don't own Jet, either.

* * *

Long Feng angrily walked along the sidewalk. He had been thrown in jail, and just when things were looking up, Azula came and took his Dai Li! Now he was a lowly commoner. Could his life get any worse?! 

Just then, the ground shook. 'And earthquake?' he thought, 'No, its too small for an earthquake... a stampede, perhaps? No, the zoo didn't lose any animals as far as I know.' The ground continued to rumble and it was getting louder. Long Feng decided to look behind him, and there he saw a massive dust cloud coming right at him. '... a dust cloud is making all this noise?... no, wait, I see shadows. A mob.' he thought. The cloud began to clear up. He could now see a sign that read "WE -heart- JET!" and that everyone was wearing a t-shirt to match. Even thought he couldn't see the people's faces, it was obvious to Long Feng that the crowd was entirely female.

'Who in the world is Jet?' Long Feng wondered, then waited for the rest of the dust to clear. He could now see the features of a person in the front- obviously the leader. She had long black hair, green eyes, a golden ribbon in her hair, and an angry look in her eyes. Another girl next to her was much younger, had even longer black hair, brown eyes, and a very bored look in her eyes. Just then, he remembered who Jet was. 'Oh yeah! Jet! That guy who double-crossed me, so I earthbended at him, broke his rib cage and probably ki... oh crud.'

Long Feng quickly earthbended a wall between him and the girls, which the leader swiftly earthbended back. "Oh great, an earthbender." he said to himself. "Well, at least that's their only weapon." Everyone in the mob suddenly drew out hook swords and clubs. "Now I'm in trouble."

_A few minutes later_

"That's for messing with Jet!" The leader shouted to the beat up Long Feng lying on the ground, unconcious. There was an akward silence. "So, now what?" she asked the shorter girl next to her.

"Lets beat up Zuko for getting Jet in jail in the first place!"

"YEAH! ATTACK ZUKO!"

A little while afterwards, when Long Feng regained conciousness, he stood up again. "Women are crazy" he said to himself, to which he was prompty hit by a club thrown by one fangirl who decided to stay.

"We'll see you next thursday!" she said with a small smile on her face. She ran off,leaving Long Feng unconcious with his days numbered.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I wish this really happened. Sorry I'm late for Lake Laogai. If you see any other fics that involve Long Feng being beaten up by a mob of Jet's fangirls, let me know!


	2. Aang meets sugar

**"HEY! YOU KNOW, SUGAR IS REALLY GREAT! WHY DIDN'T THE MONKS LET ME THAT MUCH SUGAR AT THE TEMPLE- MEADOW VOLE! YAY MEADOW VOLE! CHASE, CHASE, CHASE..."**

"Nice work, Katara. I told you not to give him that cake. And I wanted that piece!"  
"How was I supposed to know that Aang would react that way?"  
"It was 8/10 sugar!"

Aang was going circles around them on his air scooter at somewhere around 200 miles per hour and talking even faster.

**"WHEEEEEEE!** **MEADOW VOLES ARE FUN! FUN, FU-"**

Aang crashed into a tree.

"Nice work, Sweetness." remarked Toph.


	3. WARNING: OOC CHARACTER

**WARNING: OOC CHARACTER AHEAD**

**

* * *

**

_"Wait. You're hurt"  
__"No, I'm fine. I can help."  
"You are so stubborn, you know that? Thats what I like about you."_

She was shocked. Just a few months ago, they were enemies. They eventually fell in love. Fire Nation and Water Tribe. Gold and blue. They were still rivals but you could still be in love AND rivals at the same time, couldn't you? She still kept it a secret. After all, how can two opposite nations mix?

Now He was dying- killed by a lightning shot that missed its target. Tears came to Her eyes. All her dreams (involving lots of little firebending, blue eyes babies) faded away.While the others battled, She stayed and took care of her love. He was dying, and there was nothing She could do to stop it.

Everyone was in the other room now while She was kneeling beside Him. Noone was watching and this could be her only chance before He dies. _'Dad definately wouldn't approve of this, but...'_

She gently layed a kiss on him.

"Love you, Sokka"

"You too, Azula."

* * *

Author's Note: What can I say? The Sokzula fans got to me... okay, it was a dare. I warned you about oocness. And that phycopathic, sadictic, evil witch has to have a heart in there somewhere, right? Right?


	4. Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexa

"Sure! Hop on!" Aang said cheerfully to the blonde orphan stranger he just met a few minutes ago.

"Are you sure?" Katara asked. "We've been picking up a lot of hitchhikers. I don't think that Appa can take much more of this. And if Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby III has been an orphan for that long, why wouldn't she be able to take care of herself without us?"

It was true. According to Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby III, _Queen _Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby II was queen (duh) of a now extinct clan and was killed by the fire nation because they were big jerks. _King _Glitter Princey Royalness Alexander Emerald II met the same fate as Queen Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby II, and so did Prince Glitter Princey Royalness Alexander Emerald III, leaving Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby III an orphan bacause of the fire nation jerks.

"Well, she can teach me earthbending since Toph spontaeneously disappeared!" Aang replied. "And Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Alexandria Ruby III says that she won't live for much longer if the fire nation jerks find her and kill her for no reason whatsoever because they're big jerks. Besides, we don't have that many new people in our gAang."

"But we have 12 earthbending teachers, 52 firebending teachers, 34 long lost air nomads, 7 pets, 46 non-bending friends, 22 princesses, 18 princes, 33 pairs twins seperated from birth, 21 love interests for you, 34 love interests of mine, Iroh, Zuko, Suki, Ty Lee, that foaming mouth guy from Kyoshi Island, and 5 of Sokka's girlfriends."

"I have no problem with that last part!" Sokka commented, clearly enjoying the back massage he was getting from his 5 girlfriends.


	5. Love Interests

"Katara?"  
"What is it, Sokka?"

"Why do you have so many love interests?" Sokka asked. It took a while for Katara to let that sink in. She didn't have that many love interests. Just Aang, Haru, Jet(which reminded her- she had to go beat up Zuko with the rest of the fangirls on Thursday), Zuko, Jet again in Lake Laogai... how she had 4 boyfriends.

"Well... why do _you _have so many love interests?" She countered.  
"I don't have as many as you!"  
"Yes you do." Katara said. "There's Suki, Yue, Ty Lee, Azula, and Toph. So you have 5 girlfriends."  
"I do NOT have a crush on Ty Le- did you say AZULA?!"  
"There's a thing called Sokzula. And yes, you do have a crush on her."  
"No I don't!"  
"Yes you do!"

While the two siblings were arguing, Zuko was in a quandary(for those who don't know, that means a problem).

"**SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

Zuko finally managed to lock the door. Now just to get rid o the SCREAMING. It's bad enough having so many love interests in this world- Katara, Mai, Song, Jin, and Toph(though he has no idea how that happened)- he also has FANGIRLS. For every 5 Sokka fans, there were at least 100 of Zuko's. Everyone knows where he is since he crossed back over to Azula. Over 100 fans, 5 girlsfriends, location known, do the math!

Back on Appa, Katara and Sokka were overcome by a magical feeling. "Suddenly, I don't feel that I have that many girlfriends." Sokka said.

"And I feel lucky I only have 4 boyfriends!"

Little did they know that Aang(Katara's youngest love interest) and Toph(Sokka's youngest love interest) were listening. "I can't believe Katara was dating that many guys." Aang said quietly. "Now I'm a lot more willing to give up her for cosmic power."

"And now I wish I didn't save Sokka at The Serpant's Pass." Toph said. There was a short pause. Toph and Aang were the same age and just found out that the loves of their life had another 3 dates. "... wanna make out?"


	6. Sokzula

After acursed1 kept asking why Thorn1134 was such a fan of Sokzula(she always replied "I AM NOT A FAN! It's just FUNNY!"), I- erm- _she_ decided to take action...

"**AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK UNTIL YOU EITHER HAVE KIDS OR ONE OF YOU IS DEAD!**" Thorn shouted as her clones(I-um-I mean _she_ had to have henchwomen of some kind, right?) threw Sokka and Azula into the prison that was Old Ba Sing Se. She walked away muttering, "Either I actually moved along Sokzula or stopped it. It's stupid and risky but so am I." The doors closed.

After realizing what just happened, Sokka started digging through the thick door with his hands(Thorn took his weapons away) and Azula started to lightningbend until she remembered that lightning has no effect on earth. After both gave up, they started to talk about the situation in a calm and mature manner.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"NO, THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING IF I KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"

"SPOILED BRAT!"

"PEASANT!"

Finally, after a few days of being trapped in Old Ba Sing Se, they were getting hungry and thirsty because the clones were too lazy to bring food or water.

"... Sokka?"  
"Wow! You remembered my name!"  
"Yeah. It's clear to me now that we're not getting out anytime soon, so we might... you know. Pass away."  
"Yeah..."  
"Just want you to know that I always kind of felt..."

Sokka and Azula's lips were slowly moving closer and closer. They were a few millimeters apart and then Azula... shot lightning directly at Sokka's heart! Didn't see THAT coming, did you?

Azula managed to kill Sokka so she was released, the body was found three days later and only Sokka's girlfriends attended his funeral.


	7. I Dream of Sokka

_Three days since the food ATTACKED. The human population was eaten by egg custards. The animals were eaten by jerky._

_It was Sokka and Momo against the entire FOOD EMPIRE._

_"So... Hungry..." Sokka whined. "Momo! You smell like food!" Momo looked at Sokka thinking, 'You crazy.'_

_Suddenly, a giant celery stalk came up and picked up Sokka!_

_"Momo! HELP ME!" He screamed. Momo just sat there. Sokka's last words as he was being eaten was: "MOMO! WHY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DEPENDABLE GUY!"_

_Momo replied: "Idiot. I'm a girl."_

"Once, I dreamt that food EATS PEOPLE!"


	8. Blind Dates

**Random Dates**

_Azuhahn  
_"I see. So your fiancee died but you only mourn the fact that now you can't become even higher ranking unless you marry another princess like me. Since the earth king has no daughters and there are no more female water tribe heirs, I'm the only one left?" Azula said. Hahn nodded.  
"You are shallow and despicable, Hahn. You try to marry a girl against her will so that you will have a higher rank. You don't even mourn the loss of her. Now you are switching to me for the sake of greed..." Now Hahn was getting kind of scared. "... I like that about you. But you're not evil enough. Bye." Azula got up and walked away.

_Ursakoda  
_Ursa and Hakoda were feeling a bit uncomfortable about this. For one thing, they were from opposite nations. Another thing is- URSA IS ALREADY MARRIED. "... why are we here?" Hakoda asked.  
"Because my son and your daughter seem to have a relationship and the 'shippers' think that they can make even more relationships between our families." Ursa replied.  
"...Oh. Don't they have Sokzula for that?"  
"Yes but can you imagine supporting some relationship where they try to kill eachother?"  
"Good point..."  
"So... do you like flaming fire flakes?"  
"I live at the south pole."

_Ty Leemo  
_"Hi! I'm Ty Lee! What's your name?" Ty Lee said cheerfully. Momo chittered. "Okay mister -cheep cheecheep- what do you like to do for fun? I like doing cartwheels!" She then started to do cartwheels. If you were Ty Lee, this was probably enjoyable. If you were Momo, you would probably be thinking "She's kinda weird..." and try to dodge the girl's legs because she was cartwheeling with her eyes closed just for the heck of it. After the cartwheeling was done, Ty Lee cheerfully said, "You're nice mister -cheep cheecheep- but my heart belongs to Sokka! Ta!" She then skipped out the door leaving momo thinking, 'But I thought we had something special...'

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**Author's Note: **Do you have any idea how long it takes to make up funny pairings that would actually be interesting and not just random people thinking "what the heck am I doing here?" And the Azula/Hahn thing was originally going to be like

Azula: Youare the most shallow, sexist person I've ever met! I hate you, HAN."  
Hahn: It's HAHN.  
Azula: Whatever!  
Hahn: How come that southern water tribe PEASENT gets all the ladies? I hate that SOOKA kid so much.  
Azula: You hate him too?  
Hahn: Yeah...  
Azula: That's something we have in common. Now tell me more about how much you HATE Sokka.


	9. Makeover

**Note:** If you read my first fic, you might recognize one of my made-ups. None of the originals fit the other role so I made another one. If you have a dislike of made-ups then just ignore this.

* * *

_It's been a while since the incident. Rini lost her biggest secret, every friend she ever had, half her life savings, and her left leg was in a cast. Everything seemed to go wrong. Now the ex-noble, ex-navigator lived in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se with no job and no house. Right now she was drowning her sorrows in jasmine tea. There was one thing that she was very happy about, though..._

Rini blushed as a certain boy walked by.

_... that thing was Jet._

"... Hi, Jet." she said quietly. Jet didn't notice but a girl behind the counter did.

"You like him, don't you?" the girl behind the counter said after he left. Rini blushed as a reply. "He's never going to notice you if you're that quiet."

"What am I supposed to say? 'You probably don't remember me but I really like you- please go out with me'?" Rini said.

"Well... oh! I know! You need..."  
"I'm listening..."  
"A MAKEOVER!"

* * *

Rini clearly wan't happy with her new look. "Did you really need to color the cast, too?" she asked.

"Relax- you look great!" Kami(the girl from the shop) said. Rini was wearing a green kimono with white waves on it. Her long black hair was in two buns with her golden ribbon tied on one of them. Rini's green eyes were the same except for a few eye drops. There was powder on her face, she had really thick lipstick on and really long and annoying bangs. Rini didn't mind that. It was the fact that her feet were squeezed into really tight shoes. She hated shoes. Of course, if it gained the attention of Jet, it was totally worth it.

* * *

Rini slammed the door behind her and stalked up to the counter. "It didn't work, Kami." she said quietly. "It's pointless. Jet will never like me. I guess I'll either grow up to be an old lady with no husband, living on the top of a deserted mountaintop knitting and being surrounded by owl-cats _or_ just keel over and DIE now. I put on shoes for nothing. Woe is me." Kami began to smile while Rini was describing how she would grow up. Her smile grew until

"Are you done now?" she asked. Rini nodded. "Turn around." She obeyed. It turned out that Jet was right behind her. Now their lips accidentilly touched. After what seemed like eternity(2 seconds), Jet took one small step back.

"So... um... you're Rina, right?" he asked.  
"Close enough." Rini said, blushing. After Jet left, Rini turned her attention back to Kami who had an 'I told you so!' look on her face. Rini took a gold piece out of her pocket, put it on the counter and said, "Here's a tip! Thanks for the advice! Now I have to go put on even more make-up." She then skipped(Well, the closest thing to skipping that she could do without hurting her leg) out happily.

Meanwhile, another girl on a nearby table blushed as Sokka walked by. After he left, Kami asked, "You like him, don't you?"

* * *

**Author's Note: **This is my first attempt at actual romance. The original Rini didn't have a cast but I was bored so I added that. 


	10. Essence of OOC

"Zuko, I give you permission to marry my sister because you're so nice and I forgive you and your country for killing my mom." Sokka said.  
"I hate tea." Iroh said, throwing out every trace of it.  
"I wuv you, Azula." said Zuko, hugging his phsyco sister.  
"I wuv you, Zuko." said Azula, hugging him back.  
"Katara- you're ugly and I hate you." Aang said cheerfully.  
"Isn't the world beautiful?" Mai said to herself.

"I told you not to open that bottle." Toph said to Katara. "It said ESSENCE OF OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS. DON'T OPEN'"


	11. Hope

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the lack of updates. I got writers block. Anyway, I'm thinking of starting a new story so this chapter and the next two will be possible beginnings. I'm just choosing one, though. So... yeah. Just tell me which is best after all 3 beginnings are finished.

* * *

_It's been 10 years since avatar Aang defeated Fire Lord Ozai and Prince Zuko took the throne. Ten years since the avatar cycle was broken. Harmony always comes with a price. Noone really knows whether or not the avatar will be reborn but I think we'd know after a decade._

_My mom used to tell me stories about when I was a baby. She said that she knew the avatar before he died and was there when I was born. Personally, I don't believe a single word in that._

_Now we live in Ba Sing Se. Mom always said that this place was once so organized and had lack of freedom. Then Long Feng was arrested and after the Fire Lord was defeated, Princess Azula lost power and this city became free._

_My father went missing by an unknown cause but I don't really mind. I learned to adjust to a life with no avatar. If I can adjust to being without the world's strongest being, I can adjust to being without a father._

_My name is Hope- daughter of Tahn and Ying._


	12. A Sue named Fifi

"lyk h1 pR1nc3 ZuK0! iM y3r 1 tRu l0V3!!!"

The strange universe-bending, world-bending, cat-bending, and lovebending girl with really long blonde and purple hair, rainbow colored eyes, cat ears, llama ears, 9 tails, really huge earrings, a white t-shirt with a kitty on it, a color changing miniskirt, a pikachu, and glass slippers was seriously creeping Zuko out.

"O00000000ooooh, Y3r jU$ sHY! i lUv U 2!"

Just then, a blue and purple vortex opened up out of nowhere and out came two pre-teen girls. One had red eyes, abnormally long black hair, a scarlet t-shirt, white Nike sneakers, and jeans. The other was hiding behind the other one. She had short brown hair, brown eyes, a brown long sleeved shirt, brown pants and (guess the color) green (hah!) shoes. "I see you've created another one." said the one with unusually long hair.  
"Yes. Is it bad, Thorn?" the other one asked.  
"Lemme put it this way- **THE OFFSPRING OF OZAI AND**" Thorn thought for a moment to think of the most evil female adult in the show not related to Ozai. "**THAT GRUMPY LADY FROM THE BA SING SE UNDERGROUND TICKET BOOTH WOULD BE BETTER!**"  
"...Oh."

Thorn sighed. "You just get that Mary-Sue into the portal while I erase this from Zuzu's memory... what's your name again?"  
"My name is Sara. And I like Zuko!"

"lYk (All m3h zUk0!!!"

"... that explains why your May-Sure likes him."  
"Her name is Fifi Le Few Le Penelope Le Sparkle Princess Poofy Pillows."  
"Wow. This is worse than the author of Princess Sparkle Queeny Majesty Ruby III."  
"You know my sister?"  
"That explains so much."

Sara sighed. "Can we just let Zuko along instead of erasing his memory?" she asked, then gave Thorn the puppy-dog look.

"Fine." Thorn said a few seconds later. "Not because of the look, just since we need to make your Sue attractive to Zuko without being a mary-sue. By the way, that costs extra. Now get into the portal, Zuzu."

Next thing he knew, all 4 were in a fluffy pink Hello Kitty themed cushiony room (Thorn's) beside a desktop.

"First things first- I need to interview your character." Thorn said. She turned her attention to Fifi Le Few Le Penelope Le Sparkle Princess Poofy Pillows.  
"What do you think of Zuko?" Thorn asked.  
"I love Zuko." Fifi Le Few Le Penelope Le Sparkle Princess Poofy Pillows (lets just call her Fifi) replied in a monotone voice.  
"What do you think of pillows?"  
"I love pillows."  
"What do you think of airbenders?"  
"I love airbenders."  
"What do you think of Ozai?"  
"I love Ozai."  
"Erm.. okay... what do you think about the fire nation enslaving all of humanity andZuko** dying a painful, fiery death**? Muahaha."  
"I love the fire nation enslaving all of humanity and Zuko** dying a painful, fiery death,** muahaha."

Thorn sighed. "This is going to take longer than I thought." she muttered. Zuko was still recovering from shock.


End file.
